Taking My Space - Giving Spouse Theirs

[needgrace]

hi RT,

sorry i have not been around... have been processing my own stuff and needed a break. thank you for the suggestion on volunteering, i looked into our local aquarium (sounded so fun) but right now all they need are divers to feed the fish in the exhibits... and i am not a diver, at least not yet

i think you are doing so well with W and setting boundaries. very very tough stuff and you have been amazing. so inspiring.

and it sounds like you are working so so hard to understand your patterns and how they relate to your mom.. we develop those behaviors to protect our soft vulnerable sides..i was initially so angry with myself for all of those maladaptive defenses which harmed my M... i have learned to be gentler with myself and paradoxically that has helped me let go more of my defenses..

hope you are allowing yourself some space to feel and release some of your feelings. i know that i went from book to book, seeking to change/grow as a way to avoid sometimes.... i can tend to stay in my head and not allow my heart space to feel.. not sure if that resonates for you..

i am thinking that, with all the strength that you have displayed here..that your thoughts about your mom are creating space for awareness right now.. and that they will evolve with time and attention to teach you so much about yourself.

i guess i am saying and could have said in so many fewer words... i think that you are on the right path RT