like what did God let this heppen. When I asked for someone to come into my life he sent her then he rips her away from me. why Hi ate this hate what he has done.
If you have children, I'm sure you want nothing but the best for them. But bad things do happen to them, and they may even blame you for those things sometimes. And when they blame you, you don't argue with them; you know the situation was of their own making but you also know that if you try to tell them that it's just going to make them angry. So you hold your tongue and you let them work these things out, and you see them grow and mature because of it. You hold back because it's what's best for them, even though it's painful to watch sometimes.
THAT is how I see my relationship with God. He doesn't want me to suffer, but sometimes I have to in order to grow. And even though I may blame him sometimes, in the end I come to realize it was MY actions that put me in my sitch, not HIS. And if he bailed me out of all of the problems I create, I'd never learn any lessons.
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i sit here in this shell of a house for the last few days with nothing here but TV and chouch to sleep on. I feel like she is out there doing something with her new gay GF when she should be with me. I do not get it I do not understand. I hate all there is about life and truly feel there is nothing to live for.
Why would she want to go back to a depressed guy sitting on a couch watching TV? I know you're hurting, we've all been right there with you. You're at a crossroads, you can continue on in misery or you can get out, get a life, start finding happiness and contentment again, and become the spouse only a fool would leave. It's NOT easy and I'm not saying it is. But I was right there where you are- weak, ready to die, thinking there was no point in going on. And today I am happier and more confident and satisfied than I've been in many, many years; since well before BD. And I'm at this point even though my W is filing for D. You will get here too, just give yourself time and drag yourself out of the house even though you don't want to leave.
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I believe in God and his word but what does it say and why is it so long.
The Bible says what each of us needs it to say. It's a totally different message for each person who reads it. Don't worry about the length, it's not a novel that you sit down and read cover-to-cover. Just pick it up and start reading wherever you want. Let it speak to you.
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What im strugleing with is what everyone is telling me and what i want .
You're struggling because right now you think what you want is your W home. But what you REALLY want is to be content in life, and you don't NEED your W for that. You might WANT her, but you don't NEED her. In time you will come to realize this, that you CAN be happy in life whether with or without her. That's your goal, to get to that point.
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I could go one but i will not for now. How the hell do i get out of this.
Get out. GAL. Start small, walks around the neighborhood or going to a local park. At first your mind will still be consumed with W, but just keep doing it and little by little you become more interested in GAL stuff than in fretting over your W. Do things to make you feel better about yourself- get in shape, whiten your teeth, get some new clothes, etc. Reestablish old friendships and make new ones. Dust off old hobbies and start new ones. DON'T make excuses. DO get out of the house and do something, anything.
