Time for the Loop the Loop on this rollercoaster!

[Tallula]

Ok. Here is the deal. I'll try to keep it short, to the point.

11/23/12- BD, ILYBNILWY, Affair, confessed to multiple As during M, says he wants a divorce.
11/23-12/03-I beg, plead, start therapy.
12/03/12-I find DB, read DR, join forum, stop all of the above behaviors.

12/03/12-12/31/2012-My husband complained of an unorganized home, that I was controlling, that I was no longer attracted to him, and that I didn't love him and our M was always terrible. He was overtly mean to me and constantly threatened to move out. I threw myself into ala-non and DBing. 180s, worked on the things in myself that I acknowledged were a problem and bothered me as well. Over the course of the month he saw big changes in me. He acknowledged them, and was angry I was changing. 12/07/12-Found out I'm pregnant. Yep, fun twist. He is happy. I'm mad.

12/31/12-Was called and told he was over at AP's home, I texted him that I knew he was there and that he needed to meet me so we could talk. I calmly and lovingly asked him where he saw this going. He didn't know. He felt torn. Loved me, was afraid we would end up right back where we were and that is why he was still seeing OW. I told him that I wasn't ready to tell him to leave our home, but that I had ground rules. No calling, texting OW in our home. No spending our $ on her and no lying about seeing her. No overnight, etc. I told him I didn't know when this would not be ok with me anymore, but I would let him know. He agreed. Began being nice to me.

1/15/13-cuts off R with OW. Wants to move forward with our R.

1/16/13-won't defriend OW on FB or give me transparency. Not ok with me, so I spend some time thinking about this.

A week later I tell him (calmly & lovingly) that I need these things, or he needs to move out. He won't do them. We make plans for him to move out.

1/31/13-We separate. He wants to date me. I do not, I'm only for monogamy. He is angry. I stop ML to him. Says he is not going to see OW.

2/28/13- Confirmed continued contact with OW.
3/29/13-confirmed more than one OW
4/01/13-I go NC except for kids
4/15/13-He comes to me and says that he is all to blame. Yes, there were things that I had done the year before, but that we had a great R, only in that last year did I let the house go, and that he had to blame me for everything because it was too hard for him to admit that he was the type of guy that just cheats on his wife. No longer wants to be that man.

4/15-5/15-He shows up when he says he is going to for the kids, is kind and loving towards me, I continue limited contact.

5/15/13-have discussion regarding him moving back to the basement once lease is up to help with the baby when it's born and so we don't end up in financial ruin before D. He tells me that he wants to be with me, had completely cut off contact with OW. Brought phone records, passwords, etc. admits to sleeping with multiple woman during our separation. Wants to be only with me, will be honest if he speaks to any OW or slips up and actually sleeps with someone. Never will lie to me again. I told him I was probably ok with him living in our home, but would have to think about a R with him.

Memorial Day Weekend-Plan is to have him stay at our home for the weekend. He shows up with his wedding ring on. Has never worn it our whole marriage. Thats a really big deal. Says that he understands that I may never take him back, but he is going to live like a married man and show me he wants to change. Asks me out on a date night for saturday. I agree, we go and have a blast.

Ok. Bottom line. I have no idea if I will try again with my H. I'm dealing with a serial cheater and sick man. Though he is in counciling and I'm seeing my old H back, for me I'm pretty done. Yesterday he said this. I believe you really need to take note "I really thought I was just done. I had gotten so resentful of you and never thought I'd love you again. I had convinced myself we had a horrible marriage. I was terrible, awful to you. You wouldn't take my junk, but were so loving about it all. I just spun and spun crazy and you kept getting better and stronger. Because of that, I could finally see what was real. When you stopped talking to me, I began to see the truth. I mean, you walked through this with such dignity and grace, how could I not see that I'm the problem. I'm really messed up. I pray that I can make this up to you and haven't screwed us up for good."

I worked on me. I stood up for me, I was true to myself. None of this was a tactic. I came here trying to save my marriage. Then I focused on saving me, my dignity. And now, he is the one trying to get ME back.