My world got turned upside down

[RosaLinda]

I just had to sit and listen to him spew how important she is to him and how "she totally understands me and gets me and we have nothing but true feelings for each other"which is something I would never understand because I am such an awful person. and when I said some nasty things about her he loudly yelled at me and demanded I stop saying bad things about her. He said that if I wanted to talk about things like stuff he needs to do here that I have to stop being disrespectful to HER.  

Oh yes, the old "she totally understands me and gets me and we have nothing but true feelings for each other" script. I had that one read to me too, despite the fact that before my H and his Russia Tramp OW "fell in love," he told me that she is a gold digging slut (his word) who is just looking for an American man to marry so she can get a green card. But now that she has focused her attention on marrying him, she is suddenly trustworthy and capable of truly loving him? Really? It hurts to see your H, your rock, the strong one whom you looked up to and adored, suddenly incapable of logical thought. 

Sandi2's rules say NOT to talk about the OW. I guess pointing out the OW's finer points, like her drug addiction and two babies in diapers, challenges his choice of her, which is really incomprehensible and indefensible. So it's a personal attack on HIM. 

Don't do it, let him stew. You need to be the sane one, the island of serenity he'll want to return to once she starts using drugs again. Drug addicts always do. 

I am not even sure what I am saying right now and I must be on moderation cause I don't know if what I am writing will show up. 

You'll find out you're off moderation when you post something and it magically appears on the thread in 2 seconds. It's a fabulous feeling!

I don't know if I said it or not or if it even matters but they have been together a year and a half. I had a hysterectomy last year and he was never there for me at all and now I know why. He was spending all his time with her. 

Limbo, I just read on TakesVowsSeriously's thread that these affairs usually last 18 to 24 months. So maybe you H's will wind down soon. Especially if they've moved in together. Didn't you say he moved out 2 months ago?

Going to go do something just to try and focus on something besides this misery. I am sorry guys to just keep going on and on.

Good, that's what you need. Hey we are all in this together. Some days I am strong and can help others. Some days I'm a crying self-hating ball of misery and self pity, and need someone to help me. You'll get there, and you will get stronger and stronger.The initial discovery is the hardest.  God bless you LW.