Long weekend coming to an end. It was good to get some rest, back to work tomorrow tons of work for me I'm sure I'm gonna look beat up again by end of the week lol
Well Saturday we had family gathering (d18 & s14 graduation party) I had to put the fake face "happy family" thingy for my W's family that don't know the sitch. I just put my sitch aside and had a great time with BILs!
My W also faked it by putting on a regular ring on her wedding ring finger...I was thinking to myself if you're gonna fake it might as well use the real ring and remove it when people leaves oh well her choice.
She continued to give me some nuggets, calling me "babe" at one point. And yesterday she gave me that flirty look. I didn't bite but I noticed it.
Today she took her aunt and cousins out, pretty much all day. She took s3 with her. S14 hung out with me and d18 out with her friends. So today I'm tired of this sitch...actually in the last 2weeks I've been stfu of the talk about separation. Just waiting for the kids to finish school which is this week. And I think I will ask her with that talk.
So with her going, where she could've spend time with the kids... Am I selfish to ask her to put our family first ? Rather than her family? Sometimes I feel during the M, we had to adjust because her family is doing something and my plan gets pushed aside...and what trips me is that now she complains that i never made an attempt for us?! Just venting...this is definitely has to be brought up if there's a R.
In her defense she did invited me to come but I didn't feel like going...not being vindictive but I just didnt feel like it, I wanted to enjoy my extra day off since I know I will be busy for the next two months.
I also now think that no matter what good I do is that she will weed out the negative just to paint a picture of me as bad H. I'm not perfect so I will have some negative stuff that she will make a big deal out of. And if she cant find an obvious one she will use FB, i noticed she only posts pics with her and the kids none of me with them, but if you look at her phone and mine there are tons with me and the kids. I don't have FB and thought about opening an acct but that will seem like I'm competing with her...I know what I do and the kids knows and that's what matters. But it just irritates me that she's doing this.
But now I don't feel like walking on eggshells because none of what I do will make it or break this. This is why I wanna remove myself from her life so that she can't put the blame on me anymore.
Well jeez this long sorry guys thanks for reading.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
