I can say my weekend had some good, some bad, and some ????
Basically, a typical weekend!
Since I like to end things on a positive note, let's start with the bad...
H came home from "golfing" on Saturday around 1:30 am. Never came upstairs to change or check on boys. This usually implies a date night. I didn't ask him anything about it the next day, and he didn't volunteer any info.
Tonight he tells me that he booked his beach trip. I knew he would. It really didn't matter how I acted, he was going, I knew it in my heart. So while it is disappointing, it is not surprising. I am looking at it now as something that needs to happen for both of us. He needs to experience the reality of it, and I think I need this event to help move me forward.
This news would explain the ??? of my weekend. H was a little off today, said all day his stomach was bothering him and his neck was bothering him. That guilt must really be working him over...
During the kids nap time, he and I usually try to sneak in a nap. He said how tired he was, that he was going to try to sleep. About a half hour later, I hear him on the treadmill. Now mind you, he should be exercising due to his health. I can probably count the number of times he's gone on this past year on one hand. So why today, who knows? Maybe trying to get buff in one month for his romantic getaway? Good luck with that! Lol!
I'll end with the good...
Yesterday was one of the best days we have had as a family in a long time.
We've had some good days, but I felt this was really good. Very natural and relaxed.
It didn't start out great. I was tired from being up very early with the boys, and was feeling cranky. When he got up, I was half asleep on the couch while the boys watched tv. He leaned over me, rubbed my arm, and told me to go get some rest. He thanked me for letting him get some sleep, and said I should get some too.
So I did. And I felt better.
It was beautiful out, so we did yardwork all day. I invited him to Home Depot with me and the boys to get annuals, and he surprised me by saying yes. He was normal all day, and it is weird details that I notice. He wore an outfit that he hasn't worn since all this - it was a particular t shirt and hat, but it made him seem like him. Does that make sense? Also, usually when we are in the car, he puts his teeny bopper music on. He left my favorite station on - and was even singing along to some of the songs!
We had a nice dinner out on the deck to finish out the evening. I went to bed tired, but with a calm mind.
He ended up coming up to bed around 4:00 am. I heard his phone buzz with a text at 5:00 am. Are you kidding me?!?! He was snoring away though, didn't hear it lol! We slept with our bodies touching - I certainly wouldn't call it snuggling or anything, but he definitely wasn't clinging to the edge of the bed either. He doesn't when he comes up. Instead, he gravitates towards my side of the bed.
Hey, maybe he just wants to try to hog the bed
So here I am, a mixture of emotions again. A very interesting weekend. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing...
Have been reading a lot of old threads, such good info. Here is a quote I found that I would like to end with -
"CHANGE
When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can turn into deadly projectiles."
Winds are kicking up around here for sure!
Happy Memorial Day everyone
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
