Need some Encouragement

[SFC_Swede]

Bluedown...take it from a guy who made every textbook mistake you can when it comes to DB'ing. I know where you are, because I was there not too long ago. I understand the grief, pain, and confusion you are feeling.

That said, you really need to detach, and back off your W. As hard as it was, after reading posts here and the DR book...I let go. Its still hard today, but much easier than it was after BD, and the week or two that followed.

If she was coming around, or opening up...I might suggest you possibly were "pushing her" for more, and then she clammed up? Desperation and neediness are poison in our sitches, and sends the WAS into a dead run away from you.

You listened and accepted responsibility for the sitch. You apologized. Your W heard you...you dont need to keep harping on it and publically whipping yourself. Let it go for now...and detach, start GAL'ing, and put your best face on when dealing with your W. Keep a PMA, and start working on yourself, and implement the changes and 180s you want to do for YOURSELF...and not your W alone.