Good Old England

[25yearsmlc]

What's to discuss with her? You have a court date in June. So go to court.

She does NOT want to "negotiate" with you and why would she?

So far, All of your suggestions are for her to take less....

(Bruce, read what you write here, and tell me what else am I to infer?)

And NO you did not give her a lot of money before, NOR was it regular or reliable. You told us earlier (b/c I re read the post)

that you gave her a check ONE TIME (that she had not asked for) and at first she refused to cash it,
(You inferred that she must have felt guilty???)

but then she cashed it and you whined that someone must have influenced her or made her greedy...so did you GIVE it to her or was it just a fake gesture?

I bet You don't even know. IF there were other times you gave her money it was because she asked. And she should not have to.

Yes you are playing the judicial victim.

And you don't dig deep into yourself or examine your motivations. WHenever you get a real insight that isn't so greatly reflecting on you, you change your mind and revert to victimhood.

You barely know how to express yourself without frequently sounding selfish and manipulative and when we call you on it

you go back to the 'nice guy who wants his son' script. I don't know what is real and what's not.

Your wife warned you in France while married, that you were not helping her and that you did NOT have the same family values she had, (values you now claim to have but never showed before, and with which you now play the holier than thou routine to condemn HER for divorcing you!)

and as much as you brush it off,

people on this board know

that when it takes two YEARS for a father to even TRY changing a diaper and who never had one on one time (not even an hour!) of caring for his only child

while he was with them for over a year --

says a LOT..it almost says it all.

You took 6 months to follow her to Canada... and I suspect but don't "know", you sent no money during that time. Hmm? Don't bother answering but you know the truth...


If you were strategizing then with no contact with her for that long, all you did was prove how little you missed your son.

If you were "too busy with work" to follow her for six months, that says even more...

See, I think your wife was right to say you two do NOT place the same value on raising a family. You are very different from her.

You have wealth in France you told us about. We suggested NOT saying anything to her about money at all, but of course you did. You wanted her to waive rights to it (!!??)

but that served only as a reminder to her of it, and frightened her b/c you wanted her to give up property rights HER SON has...

so of course she told her lawyer. And refused to give up those rights.

ANd then you complained about how she did that.

She's NOT thinking of her own wealth, in my opinion.

WHen women clients told me they "wanted NOTHING" from their soon to be ex h's,

I would say "that's fine for YOU. Don't take what you don't need,

EXCEPT how does that affect your child/children? B/C if you let your pride talk and refuse money which would benefit your children, that's misplaced pride."

I think she was prideful and wanted nothing to do with you aqnd to raise her so as she saw fit. But now, after she matured some and talked to L's, she is mostly thinking of what her son deserves,

which is a chunk of the earnings of his father. I really believe that. See,

Your son is what the law refers to in Latin as "the natural object of your bounty". All your children will be.

Meaning, if you win a million dollars tomorrow, YES Bruce, the court wants HIM to have some of that million. B/C He's your son, for whom you are responsible.

And he's her son. And she knows him and she loves him.

You are his father

and the majority of your posts are about what he/she cost you in financial terms. Seriously...

You can learn from this and become a better man/father or you can stay this way.

Your choice.

But if you ever REALLY want to be close to your son, I'd choose to change.