Still Struggling and need help #4

[CharlieBrown]

Second, wow, last night and this morning was sure interesting! We had a big party with our son's 6th grade basketball families over as an end-of-season get together. Lots of fun and lots of beer and wine as the night went on. After everyone left at about 1, W and I were in the kitchen and she showed me a pic on FB on her phone. When she showed it to me, the next one down was a post from tat-boy, and asked her to tell me about him and how he fits into all of what we have been going through. We spent the next two hours in a very emotional and honest discussion about it and finally stopped only because it was so late and we needed to get to bed. This morning she came and talked to me and we talked more on our walk with the dog. I thanked her this morning for talking to me and opening up to me.

Gist of it, she knows how upsetting and hurtful this has been to me. She said that she found him during toughest times and wasn't looking, now it is more of a habit and she understands that it can have a toxic affect on her and us. She admitted to texting him and pming him on her visit there a month ago and said it was harmless. She tried to shift it back to me ("you used to look at Playboy" - yes, 15 years ago and I stopped because it was disrespectful to you) and I did a pretty good job on listening and responding). Lots of discussions, but bottom line is that it is in the open and we talked lots about it. She said she knows she needs to get off his FB friends and we will see if she follows through.

I did a better job today of listening than I did last night, but at least it was honest.