Just saying hello.

[RealityTrip]

Hello Prometheus. So glad you are here. I just read your thread to learn about your sitch. Tough stuff friend. I have felt your emotions and experienced the torture of my own mind too. What strikes me when I read your posts is something I wish I had learned or better controlled earlier on: Acting "As If". Controlling my emotions in my spouse's presence and acting "As If" I am going to be just fine no matter what she did. I remember thinking in the beginning that if I expressed my pain, if she just knew what she had done to me then she would snap out of it and everything would be fine. I was so wrong.

What I learned from DB'ing and my mentor's and support here was that rolling in emotions and losing control or trying to reason with her only pushed her further away. Our spouse's don't like the reflection of themselves they see when they look at us and we are broken and emotional. They may be feeling very confused and are searching for stregnth for themselves. If we stop worrying about them, focus on ourselves, they will notice. Your W might have expected you to chase her out to the car. Next time, what if you didn't? You take back your power and control. It took my WAW (who was in a physical affair) about 2 weeks to notice that I was not pursuing and going on with my life. Once you start to really try to detach from her and what she is going through and focus on yourself, one thing happens for sure - you start to feel better. It's a long process and not always easy. I regress sometimes. But we just pick ourselves up and start from where we are.

Hang in there. Keep posting and read other thread's. (((hug)))