My world got turned upside down

[SFC_Swede]

My main concern right this second is with you Limbowife. Your mental health and outlook. It is one of the most painful things you are going through at this point, but you need to realize that all of these hurtful things your H is saying are more of a deflection of his own personal guilt and failures, than a reflection of you, and how your M is and/or was.

I spent the last 9 yrs trying to hold my M together after my W's PA. I made great changes to my character and behavior...but in the end on May 1st 2013, I too received the massive BD and finality and death of our M. I have heard many of the same things you have, and it crushed me. To sit there and listen to them act as if they have been a captive held against their will, and not remembering one single good time you spent together is baffling to us.

But I have learnt in the past month that life does indeed go on, and that I needed to start living for me, instead of trying to please my W all the time. I started hitting the gym again, talking to new people, and giving my W space. Things are far from repaired or perfect, but have gotten to where we are at least civil to one another, and I feel better about myself.

As hard as it is...detach from your H, and focus on you.