The wife changed her "tactics" this weekend. Instead of lying in bed for the whole time except for essentials she chose to do the opposite. The only lying in bed she did was elsewhere and when she came in I felt like pointing at her and proclaiming to our children that "that is your mother!"
It ended with us having a midnight chat on Sunday/Monday. I have to admit that I am rubbish when it comes to talking/listening to her these days (perhaps because I have so little practice.
It started well as she initiated the conversation but as it went on I had this itch to speak and unless I scratched it I would scream!! After allowing her to speak for 10 minutes about separation and divorce I "had to" have my say. I think that some of my "logical thinking" got through but if it did it probably has been scraped from her memory banks by now. And the end result was that I felt like crap and she fell asleep as sound as a baby. I have to keep telling myself that places like this is the only place to "scratch an itch" when it comes to a MLCer/WAS.
I'm not sure that moving forward is possible when you live under the same roof. (Listening to my wife say that we're living together but not as a couple and therefore her sleeping with OM isn't cheating makes me want to stick a fork in my head!) The tension is overwhelming at times but when I'm out I can feel the life coming back to me.
There are a couple of things that could have a significant impact on our lives and that is my wife has an interview for a job on Wednesday and I have one in the middle of next month. Hopefully if we are both able to get them then that could help us to move forward though in what direction I have no idea. (My WAS still wants me to move out. My heart doesn't agree although my head can certainly see the advantages.)
It's called the rollercoaster from hell except that I don't seem to see any ups. I suppose I have to remember "patience, patience, patience!!!"
3 hours until my eldest is home, 5 days until the weekend, 5 weeks until the children's Summer holidays and 3 months until I/We go to England and ? until the weather gets warm again!!
Me: 42 W: 40 M: 18 T: 20 D13 D10 S7 BD: 8/2012 Still living together
