I had a great day at work (I LOVE my job) and now my son is going to make dinner while I'm indulging myself by watching Undercover Boss-it always makes me smile.
The Happiness Trap is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and has similarities with DBing with some research to back it up. The theory uses mindfulness techniques to accept what is out of our personal control and to allow our feelings to come and go instead of trying to control them. Practicing this on a daily basis keeps me in tune with what I'm feeling and also allows me to see my difficult thoughts as harmless, transitory. There is no fighting with myself, I just accept and move on.
I am 'closer to fine.'
Again, thanks for the conversation.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Hey bug, I hope your feeling better today. I've read most of the happiness trap, it's a good book and I use the diffusion techniques from time to time. I am reading "Fear and Other uninvited Guest" this is another good book in my opinion.
My new thing I'm doing is audible... I am in my car a lot and a friend and I are sharing an account so it's relatively cheap. We get two books a month and we each pick a book that we want to listen to. It is interesting to listen to a book that I would not have normally picked.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Hi subguy, I've been meditating and practicing yoga for a while now, so a lot of the info in Happiness Trap made so much sense to me. The defusion piece is exactly what happens in meditation, there's a thought, let it go, there's another thought, watch it move away. I was/am and obsessor so I could get wrapped up in things easily. This has helped me tremendously in just accepting and letting go.
I can be my own worst critic and get into blaming myself "You feel sad today, what do you have to feel sad about. You should just feel better, if you would do blah, blah, blah this wouldn't happen." Sound familiar to anyone? I don't fight with myself about it anymore. If I'm sad, I'm sad. I don't even try to figure out why I'm sad. Sometimes I know but sometimes it can be a mixture of things. What is, is.
Thanks for the book suggestion, I'll look into it.
I've heard of Audible but I have no digital recording devices other than my computer. Weird, huh? I'm on a bit of a technology fast. I have an old mp3 player that is around here somewhere, but have been thinking about getting a new "something" just to listen to books, etc. Our library has lots of things to download.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
"You feel sad today, what do you have to feel sad about. You should just feel better, if you would do blah, blah, blah this wouldn't happen." Sound familiar to anyone?
yep! Thats how I spent most of my life trying to 'change'.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Seems like a lot of the same topics have been going around the boards lately: fear, shame, empathy, forgiveness...
As always, thanks for sharing and the food for thought.
(((((((LaBug))))))))))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Seems like a lot of the same topics have been going around the boards lately: fear, shame, empathy, forgiveness...
As always, thanks for sharing and the food for thought.
(((((((LaBug))))))))))))
KG, I see a lot of the same topics as well. I wonder just how much of our lives were/are driven by fear and shame? Seems like so many of us are trying to move from a reactionary style of living to one of purpose and thoughtful action. Fear/shame = reactionary, empathy/forgiveness = purposeful and thoughtful action. It is so easy to fall into a role of cause and reaction. Living a life of purpose takes more
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Trying, trying. For me and my kids. The golden rule. Having a purpose outside ourselves. Greater good. Come on society . Get with it! Although at times my downfall Help me out here friends... My H thinks I act holier than thou. Don't want to be that person. Just want there to be good and kindness and less selfishness
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
