#1 goal - I'm going to attempt to write this post with no mindreading or judgement. Just the facts, maam.
There was a thread one time about the WAS/MLC coming out & going back into fog, I need to read up on that to try to understand and not lose faith during this time.
Maybe it's more of a journal entry, things are just accumulating and my reality of having to deal with this is fighting my db knowledge of no pressure, pma, let things play out. I'm laying out the facts but don't know how to handle this next step.
H was more involved and engaged in April, increasingly distant in May. He has spent very little time with dds and attended 3 concerts. If one is sitting in the audience, thank you for coming but that doesn't count as quality time (is that judgement? I think it should be a fact).
H alcohol use is a continuing issue for me & girls. I feel it is something that needs to be addressed and MC would offer some support. H posted pic of beer on instagram last night & I'm not friends with him so didn't see it. D15 made a snarky comment on post & sent me screenshot. I told her she was right to stand up for what she believed in but it would be better to talk to her dad in person about her feelings. I can only do so much. But they don't have that kind of R soooo...
H spent 2 hrs with d15 today and it doesn't sound like he mentioned anything about trust recovery (theme of last MC appt 2 weeks ago). d15 volunteered that H 'bashed' me though, about a totally off the wall topic (believe me, there's plenty for him to bash me on if he wanted to). d15 says they were talking about her music and H says 'i'm sorry your mother made you only take classical piano lessons. i wanted you to take jazz but your mother would never allow it.' d15 says 'i can play whatever i want now'. H says 'i know, i just want you to know that i tried'.
HUH? I don't understand where this comes from when he just complimented me for 'my dedication & girls are so lucky to have me as their mom' after concerts last weekend.
So the parent 'bashing' (pretty benign in my book) will also have to be addressed in MC. But do I have a leg to stand on here, since it's a second hand account of the conversation? Also the general lack of parenting time from him, as I expressed recently I'm building resentment for having to be the solo parent 24/7.
Lastly, there's the issue of H's continuing/public communications with OW that hurts dds (and obviously me). I've been thinking on it for a few days, labug, and had nearly decided to choose to believe H and let it go. Then yesterday, ow has 'liked' a couple pics of H's that d18 has pointed out & it really bothers her.
It's really odd what's going on now, because I was upset about H's pre-drink stop after concert last weekend and didn't know how to bring it up, so I sat on it. Then he posted that pic last night and now there's more ammo. Same with H's texting OW & I didn't know how to react to that so I've been mulling it over. Then OW publicly 'likes' H & there's more ammo too... things are building in a really unhealthy way. It helps me take a huge step back and see the sad reality of my situation.
This, in my mind, is turning into a H bashing MC appt. I would like a way to present the facts without attacking H. Or, is it better to let it all die down and not say a thing? My problem with that is that it directly effects my dds so I have to do something. I'm trying to teach them to take care of things on their own, but the reality is that I can't even take care of things on my own! I'm waiting and building a list for the MC!
I realize I'm to the place where my posts need to not be all 'H did this & that'. I don't want to handle things how I used to and I am still unsure of a new approach. But there has been a sh!t storm brewing. It's a lot to deal with right now.
