Hi Snodderly, Linda & Portia! Thanks for stopping by.
Snodderly Martha Stewart I am not. But there is a certain amount of caretaking that must get done every so often. The kids might help - if they are properly corralled and beaten- but everyone here is so busy all the time between work, school, sports etc that sometimes it gets more than a little wild. But! Get this! I have tomorrow off!! HA HA! from both jobs! and from sporting events!! and from H, for at least a while although his "itinerary" says he returns tomorrow afternoon. So I just might get caught up ~ I am now doing a little dance
LindaM I don't know what I have to "look forward to" - but I guess that's no different than most on this board. I don't know what an official diagnosis of H would be... I have a zillion theories. But things were "good" for such a short while, and so long ago, that I really don't hold out much hope for that. I would "settle" for honesty, integrity, compassion, consideration. I would "like" also patience, interest in who I am, and not to have to listen to nastiness regarding gender, race, religion etc. I would "love" to have a squirt gun fight, dance in the kitchen and hold hands at the breakfast table.
And thanks for the accountability regarding school. I haven't made that phone call yet. I have a few half-reasons why not, and plenty of whole-excuses... but I need to at least call and get some info, some of my particular questions asked. I will make a call this week or face 2X4's.
And Portia! Hey sweetie just wanted to tell you I think about you and your sitch quite often. (((hugs))) I stumbled across the post below, (you may have read it before) and of course YOU jumped right out of the lines.
Originally Posted By: Tipper
Hey All, I am so so sorry I have been away for a while.
I unfortunately just got laid off from my teaching job I have been in for the last 8 years and My life feels like its been flipped upside down all over again.
I will do much better dealing with this crisis now though - that I have survived my H's MLC. Its made me stronger in many ways and one of them is to not freak out so bad about new changes and other crisis. I know I will be o.k. no matter what.
I will be gone for a while on the boards due to not having internet access all the time. And I am sorry to any of those I didnt respond to lately. I have my thoughts on all of you here, even though I am not posting.
The best DBing thing I look back on doing was definetly NOT CALLING MY H. So for anyone that is in the dark and not calling due to the DB advice : I am evidence it works. So stick it out. DONT CALL the WAS.
I strongly believe in my situation it was the thing that worked the best. I had to GAL after I realized I could not call him, and the rest the DB advise also followed. But It all starts there if you want to make them notice you again for the first time in a long time. Remember human nature usually get curious or wants to know about the things they dont have or cant get. So if you avoid calling in between visits, it is very much so making an impact on your WAS due to their curiousity. They will only hate it if you call and check on them anyways.
Just tell them the next time you visit. That you dont plan on calling them for a while so that they have enough time to be alone and get space. Say, you will only call when absolutely neccessary and if need be. Otherwise, they are free to do what they want because its their life to live.
For the time your in the dark due to the "not-calling/talking" it is THE WORST EVER< EVER< EVER>. I hated it. But I look back on it as one of the most important things i did and that even my H thanked me for when he finally returned. DONT CALL unless if emergency arrives.
Hang in there all, I will not know when I will be back but I just love this forum and I dont ever really want to leave it forever. And My laptop wont be taken back by my School dist. until the end of June so I have a bit more time. Then I will figure something else out. TIPPER
The red highlights in the above post were done by me.
And I'm only mostly detached. (Similar to "mostly dead", for all you Princess Bride fans out there.) I still have times when I sag, when my breath catches, when tears fall, when I want to hit something. I still have times when I think I can't stand this for even 1 more second...
Sometimes its just so damned hard. And sometimes it just hurts so damned bad.
But the earth has yet to open up and swallow me whole - although I've asked more than once. So I guess I'll just have to keep on blazing the j-trail, whatever that might turn out to be.
Have a good night
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Martha Stewart I am not. But there is a certain amount of caretaking that must get done every so often. The kids might help - if they are properly corralled and beaten- but everyone here is so busy all the time between work, school, sports etc that sometimes it gets more than a little wild. But! Get this! I have tomorrow off!! HA HA! from both jobs! and from sporting events!! and from H, for at least a while although his "itinerary" says he returns tomorrow afternoon. So I just might get caught up ~ I am now doing a little dance 
I don't know what I have to "look forward to" - but I guess that's no different than most on this board. I don't know what an official diagnosis of H would be... I have a zillion theories. But things were "good" for such a short while, and so long ago, that I really don't hold out much hope for that. I would "settle" for honesty, integrity, compassion, consideration. I would "like" also patience, interest in who I am, and not to have to listen to nastiness regarding gender, race, religion etc. I would "love" to have a squirt gun fight, dance in the kitchen and hold hands at the breakfast table.
