Its been over a month...but I have been chewing ALOT of nicotine gum. W says she doesnt believe it...not that I am telling or pushing her...it came up on the last R conversation when she came home from her trip. And she says, even if it is true, its too little too late.
She sounds really combative just for the sake of being so...to lash out. Like one of those little chihuahuas that barks at you from behind a gate like it's going to do something if it could.
Just keep walking past the gate and know that little dog can't do anything to you. She'll simmer down in time.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Thank you for continuing to view my thread. It is much easier having support as I move on. I have to be honest with you, just the fact that I am no longer worried about getting thrown in the street, and can stay in the house as I GAL and work on myself is a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.
Sure, I still worry there is OM in W's life...but we continue to have small pleasant conversations every once in awhile (non R/M related). But she continues to be distant both emotionally and physically.
I am still good on my major 180, and looking for other ways to improve. Probably the hardest thing to do is "act" happy, and upbeat around her. She is looking amazing...and working out like she has a prize fight in two weeks. So its hard to see her, and not feel depressed.
Well...going to be a busy weekend for me, so I just wanted to check in. Thank you all again.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Add to this, not to reach out to touch her. I am not sure if you would call this a backslide, or proper. But this afternoon, I told her she looked great and ran my hand once up and down her back.
She said thanks, but otherwise didnt respond. I just left the room and continued my day.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Back for another entry. W has lightened up, and not acting as angry. I continue the big 180, and leaving her be. Was surprised that she invited me to go to the movies tonight with our S. At first, I said no....sticking to my "giving her space" trend. And then I thought about it. I dont like going to public places, and often decline to go to the movies and other venues. So, I asked her if she was ok with me going, and she said yes...and then I agreed to go and thanked her. For me, this would be another 180.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Movie went pretty well. W sat next to me, rather than putting our S between us. She didnt reach out for me, or touch me...but I will take what I can get at this point. Two weeks ago, she wanted me out the door and gone...and last night she invited me to go out. I call that progress...if nothing other than a kindness and new friendship of sorts.
Other than that...W continues to be emotionally and physically distant. Here comes another day.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Yesterday went pretty well. W and I uncovered the pool together and cleaned up the back yard. We are working well together, but she continues to be distant emotionally and physically.
It is so hard to not backslide. I reached out to her several times to touch her...not inappropriately, but on the arm or back. I thanked her last night for all the help, then she went off to bed.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
