You are doing great. Everything you do should be about protecting you and making you stronger. If not telling him gives you that, then hold on to it. Hold on knowing it's for yourself and don't let yourself worry about telling him anymore.
I cycle through phases of emotion thinking in one moment "I've got this" then cut to the following day and I feel like I basket case and have forgotten everything I learned. I can remember when I first came to the forum and had one of those emotional cyclones out loud on the forum Needgrace was so calm in pointing out to me that the emotions come in waves. Waves we just have to ride.
It is hard to admit fear. Admitting that our spouses still... after everything they put us through, still have an affect on our emotions is scary. In trying to detach lovingly it gets a little tricky. We are standing for our marriages, trying to put ourseves first, trying to learn and grown from our own shortcomings, be supportive of our crazy (for lack of a better word) spouses, in your case raise children, be pregnant, GAL, be a friend, employee, neighbor, daughter, sibling. We have a lot to deal with as BS's. Every once in a while we HAVE to give ourselves a break!
I hope you are having a wonderful holiday weekend! I'm going to give in to my craving for the bad for me, nitrate filled, oh-so-good grilled hotdog!!! And a slice of pie.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
