And I just keep going...

[keep_going]

SIAS & Busting,

Thanks for stopping by and for your caring and support.
I took it easy all day yesterday and feel a lot better already.

Had an unpleasant exchange with H when he picked up the kids for the weekend, though, but I think I processed it and am letting it go.

He texted on his way over saying he had fainted in his kitchen earlier in the day and that a friend (actually a family friend on my side) was driving him over. I immediately called to ask if he was ok. I said if he wasn't ok to drive, was he going to be able to care for the three kids on his own? I offered for them to spend the night until he was completely well. He replied he was and he sounded just fine. The whole exchange seemed fishy to me. Either he was sick enough that he couldn't drive himself over (and therefore not able to care for the kids), or he was fine enough to drive and have the kids.

Now, this woman who drove him over is a very attractive single woman who we've known for years (a relative of my cousin). We use to see her in my family functions (always as a married couple) and I have not seen her since before we separated. I don't remember the context of the converastion, but my H admitted to me after we split that he had always had a crush on her...

It turns out she lives in the same apt. complex and they ran into each other over a year ago. They went for a hike together to catch up on each others lives and they have gone swimming to the community pool as well - just the two of them. H told me about it and said he has shared with her about our breakup, yet I don't know how much she really knows.

Now, I don't know how often they hang out, but the way my H describes it, and knowing that my H has always felt attraction towards her, it sounds like they have an EA or are on the way to one. Not my problem. I will let OW deal with this new OW2 - lol...

Yet, I was irritated that he had used the excuse of his fainting to have this OW2 drive him to my house. Look, he is free to do whatever he wants with his life, but I don't appreciate him bringing women - any woman over to my house unless she is a family member. I really don't know for a fact what is going on with them, but I don't need to know and I don't want to know.

So when they parked downstairs, I went outside the balcony and before she got out and could hear me, I told H to please come alone to the door to get the kids. I have no idea what he told her, but she didn't come to the door.

They left and later on he texted asking why I was so rude to her (I admit what I did was rude). I told him that next time he needs to make sure it is ok with me to bring someone to my house before showing up like that. He said he had thought I would love to see her and that was going to invite me to come with them and the kids out for dinner.

I didn't even get into it with him. My H has never believed that there are certain lines that people in committed R don't cross with members of the opposite sex (even though his R with OW started exactly this way). Since I am not going to convince him, I was not about to start discussing it with him.

He was mad, which I expected, but I was not about to invite this potential OW2 into my house and chit chat about what? My life for the last 2+ years? She clearly already knows at least some of what has been happening. So to say that it would have been very awkward and uncomfortable is an understatement and I am upset that my H would put me in that situation in the first place. Yet, there is no way I could ever explain any of this in a way that would make any sense to him, so I didn't even try.

He accused me of being rude, irrational, out of touch with reality, crazy jealous and mean. I may well be all of that, but I also feel that at this point in our R, there are things I will just not put up with, and him bringing another woman here is one of them.

Yeah... I should have just let her come in, do a brief "hi, how are you" and then say something like "sorry, I am on my way out" but I am not sure I would have kept cool, calm and collected if she had come in. It all happened so quick and it just triggered the whole "she is just a friend" thing that brought H's OW1 into my life over two years ago...

I learned my lesson and I hope my H also learned his and doesn't bring another woman to my home again like that - lol...