Snodderly and golfmom - I agree that children do not need a relationship at all costs - the strange thing is that as time goes by and they are less hurt, the two younger ones are more prepared to have some sort of relationship, at my xh's persistent recent attempts. It is not about them though and how they might feel, it is all about him trying to feel better about himself.
My eldest son and both my dil's see the behaviour as enabling, but we don't interfere.
I am just concerned that my two younger sons have a lot going on in their personal lives right now, and do not need this stress. I just stand by and try to be kind to my kids and tough with my xh.
