This is my first time posting.My H moved out March 2012. States he's just waiting for me to accept all this before divorcing.I had to be the one to set limits on him seeing the kids because he was still coming over daily.We have spend holidays together up until Mother's Day.I just don't know what to do anymore!
I have read DR...several times!I will say I feel like I have come a long way in seeing my faults and growing as a person since this all has happened.I still have moments of panic though thinking about a future without him.
His c/o are that I didn't show enough affection and that he's outgrown me-so to speak.
Sorry to hear about your situation. This is a great place to be during times like this. The 2 people above me are give great advice. Do your self a favor and listen to them.
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
I feel so helpless and hopeless.It's been 15 months since H left and I still feel this way at times.
I made a choice in April not to play "happy family" and I don't know where to go next. Up until that point we would go out to eat as a family, sometimes spend weekend days together and spend holidays together.When H would come over to see the kids, we would have conversations about work,world events,etc.
At Easter, we spent the day together as a "family." I approached H about being intimate and he said I made him uncomfortable and just wanted to leave. I thought in my head "the go," but didn't say it.He said "this is nice how it is.Let's just leave it at that."
That's when I decided to myself (but not say it out loud to him) to stop playing like everything was normal and we were a family in almost all aspects except that he doesn't live with us and there is no physical contact between H and I.
Now we he comes to see or get the kids, I feel like strangers...
When I talk to him about our situation and how I know we can make it work he says "Yes, it would be good for a while but it would eventually lead back to this." When I said I missed us as a family he said "We're still a family. Broken, but still a family." Him saying things like that just confuse me, even when the couple of times it has been brought up he still states a D will happen.
It is so hard to GAL during holidays.My friends are all doing things with their families.My children are with their Dad.I wanted to call and see what they were doing and asking them to hang out.I know my H wouldn't mind but I worked through it...went shopping,watched a movie (avoided housework :)).
Hi GotoGirl~~I know where you are coming from. I also wonder who this maniac stranger is that used to be my H. Just keep taking deep breaths. That is my goal right now. Just to breathe and try not to focus on how bad it hurts. That is hard I know. Hang in there.
