I think it's a matter of really believing that we have value. If love is based on our works then it's not love! Who wants that anyway. I always feel I don't have the right to say no, that little voice in my head screams "selfish, selfish,selfish". I read somewhere that when you say no, don't explain because when you explain it gives the other person a chance to negotiate...and they'll get their way. So true, I remember once telling SDA Lady that I did not want to take her downtown for a job interview by public transit because I was too tired and needed to pick up my daughter from gymnastics. SDA lady did not know the way. She said "couldn't D15 take a cab?" I said "she could but she's not going to!" Then she wanted me to take her to the interview and leave her if it was too late. Then she hit me sweetly with "Well, if you don't want me to take this job then I won't" Ooh, manipulation at it's finest. Finally, I agreed saying I'd take her but at 7:30 pm she was on her own. I always felt so responsible for her life and that was one time I actually raised an objection. I could have said "Why don't we look up the route, you go a bit earlier and ask someone if you get lost" Duh, never occurred to superboyfriend...and the interview was a few days away! It's hard to think "I'm gonna say no and they're gonna love me anyway cuz I'm damn well worth it!" Wow, I have a dream....
