Today, while driving home I had a wave of anger rush over me like I haven't had yet in this ordeal. I'm tired of feeling this way and it's clearly my XW's fault. I wanted to call her, wake her up, and let her have it over the phone. Im sure part of it is that I had hoped and planned for her to come visit me about now...but of course, all of that is off. The other part is just the agony of trying to figure out what happened and guessing what will happen. GAL does great to get my mind off it all. But driving the car is, apparently, a good time for my mind to wander back to it all. UGGGGH. I'm also stuck in the spot where the wounds are fresh and I can't consider a new relationship. Way too early for that but I do wonder where I'm going to end up now. As far as that goes, my life has no plan right now. I want to know. I want to move in the direction of a loving committed relationship. I do not want to be a loner the rest of my life.
So, I guess I'm hurt, tired, confused and impatient and that somehow mixes all togeher to create anger. I wish I could tell XW this situation she has caused for me but that is not going to happen. Venting here instead....
All perfectly normal, Vent away, that what this place is for.
