I have really started to move towards that. I took of my wedding band last week and it has been a liberating experience. I love being married, and I love my wife, and I love my wife. But im starting to find respect for myself.
My wifes birthday is in 2 weeks. Also this weekend is,memorial day. Im going to use Sandi's advice, as well as the advice from Cunninghams book and start being as spomtaneous as possible. I want to show her I can be a lot of fun.
I was going with the approach used by Dr Harley, as well as advice from my DB coach, to kind of compete with her affair partner.
Needless to say, that hasnt had the desired effect. Dr Harley recommends six months to one year in this position (when wayward spouse is a female, and much shorter for cheating husbands).
We are coming up on six months in a few days and I dont see many signs of change. I mean I see little things but only actions to try to keep me waiting....nothing more.
After her birthday, I am going to Start a different approach where I go limites contact. Also need to find a smart way to ask or tell her she has to move out.
Not sure where that would head to, but I have a strong suspicion it will burst her bubble and be a huge wake up call. I need to hold on to what little respect I have for her or a reconcilliation will be impossible.
Any thoughts as to how to tell her to move? I thought about telling her the truth which is that this is too painful for me, and that it gives our daughter the,message that this is acceptable behavior. And its not! Mommies and daddies dont sleep in separate rooms and dont gave boyfriends either.
Thoughts?
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
