When XH left us, my dad had just survived a life-threatening incident. I kept things a secret for months, thinking that the news would kill my parents. They are old and frail. And when I told them, it nearly did kill them. They both ended up in hospital within weeks of hearing the news.
And you know what?
XH, who had been their 'beloved son', didn't even ask about them, even though he knew what was going on.
Snodderly is so right. These guys are in survival mode themselves, and NOTHING ELSE matters.
I prefer to believe that they can't help it. It's the only account that makes any sense of how they are behaving.
I also know the feeling of having no-one to support you.
It helps me to think about my kids (and even my dogs!) as being there for me - of us being a little unit/family that keeps things going, together (doesn't always work, especially when the kids get antsy!).
Remember, too (it sure helps me!) that we are all here for you as well. Little beacons of understanding and support for you all around the world. I know it's not much in a real sense, but it sure helps me to think about this when I get into one of these inevitable down cycles.
