Firstly, please know that my h is now a work only machine. Especially since BD. He is only thinking and doing things that "make sense" for the business. Im not even sure he takes time out to be with friends anymore. He is doing everything and burning himself out from a business perspective. Although, he does speak of the near future (possibly july) and needing/taking a break... I am not sure what this means for him or me or if even an us?? (fingers crossed there).
IF we are to remain a couple or to vow to work on repair...I am willing to stay in this business.
IF he moves on and can manage to be dating or OW... I cannot! I would not want to be in this business and will have to find a way to dissolve.
As the business is now in the black, it is HIS wish to pay me off first (all monies owed and back salary). He will not take any money, until I have been paid these amounts. There is not enough, just yet to pay both of us in full. But he was adamant since BD for me to have money so that I could buy a house (that he keeps encouraging me to do...guilt? for not providing me with one of our own?...dunno). Same with purchasing a "fun" car through the business, he wants me to have a nice ride....guilt? for me not having nice things?...dunno.
//If your H isn't prepared to pull out his capitol investment, then that could be a problem if you plan on remaining a partner in the business.// ................. explain??
//You noted earlier that you initiated a separation and the business was a means for the two of you to stay together. I'm not sure I get that logic. Can you fill in some blanks, there?// ..... several years ago, I was the WAS because I wanted soooo much more than my rel'p with him was providing. I wanted a marriage, a house, family, joint ventures, etc. It took approx. 4 months of separation (he was extremely lonely, no friends) and he designed this business proposal as a way for us to be "joint". I was desperate and JUMPED at this opportunity, but should have made him "work" more towards relationship issues not just a business venture. Again, I was desperate! and he was lonesome.
As for "off season", it used to be pretty fun, with occasional trips, cottage visits, day trips, beach, seadoo/boating, Saturday dinners, Sunday breakfasts, etc. NONE of this happened last summer.
KD, if all we have is a business arrangement.... what will make us have a personal one? Will it be "after" the "season" as I think he has in his mind?...if so, do I just continue to "business partner back" and focus on selling inventory and bide my time occupying myself, keeping busy/distracted until...? July? and see what happens then?
H texted and called alot today, informing me of his every business move. I kept our convos short & to the point, ended the convo's early. H texted awhile ago to say that he got a problem vehicle running and a smiley face. I did not respond.
When I stop interraction...so does he. I don't want to play the distance/pursuit. Is not responding OK?
He has since then made contact with my D22 and they are going for breakfast in the morning.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
