2 year A confirmed

[complicated]

KD,
I'm beginning to think you are psychic. Yes I have read 5LL and yes I am quality time and he is Acts of Service with some Words of Affirmation. I learned of the book on here. I have been reading this forum for quite a while and it has helped me tremendously. Every time I feel like throwing in the towel I get on here and read.

Yes I think OW has put the pressure on. In a way I think he wanted to get caught because he apparently gave her my phone number. I asked him how he thought she got my number and he said he thinks he gave it to her. When I asked why he said "we were probably arguing and H said here's her number, go ahead and call her". My brain knows he needs space but my heart is hurt and wants this over. I know deep down that if I give him space it will be my saving grace in the end...it's just hard right now when I am so tired of this. Our 26th wedding anniversary is in a few weeks and I'm really nervous how that will go.

Regarding LRT, I agree, I think right now it would only hurt things more. What do I do for nudges?

I don't remember if I said up above but I have chosen not to tell the kids or my family. At this time I don't want the kids to think negatively about their dad. If it comes to D I will probably feel differently. I also didn't want to tell my family because I don't think they will understand why I'm not filing. They have always loved him but I don't think they will understand my standing for my M and family. Most people don't understand why I'm still standing which is why I don't usually talk much to most people I know when they ask. Do you agree? Not sure if I am protecting him by doing this or if it is the right thing to do. I certainly don't want to protect him but in a way I think I am protecting myself. It is embarrassing to have our s cheat on you and of course OW said some hurtful things when confronting me.

I'm actually kind of anxious for my next c appointment because even though she can't tell me what they talk about she does say stuff like things went well, or things are positive. I think if nothing else positives keep me going. One I think positive, maybe, is the night it all happened I had told him what I was going to do for his 50th bday which was right after the D was called off and he moved out. He said if that is something I would also like then maybe we could do it for my 50th which is next year. But, his moods are so up and down who knows what he is really thinking.