Many LBS will come here and say, "Before I got DB I did all the wrong things". It can seem like that, sometimes. Yet what the LBS did before DB is neither right nor wrong. It is simply what they did to get themselves where they were, before they started DBing.
I mention that to you because, while you may feel you did the "wrong" things before coming here, it sounds like you did a great job holding it together and making it as long as you did.
That said, your GAL and 180s sound great. Keep doing them.
It appears you have two primary 180s:
+ working on your anger (sounds like it's working for you)
+ showing him you love him
on the second, have you read "5 Love Languages"? It sounds like he may be "acts of service". If that's the case, I think you are doing a great job, there. If you haven't read it, please do. If you have, what is your LLs and what do you think your H's LL(s) is(are)?
As far as saying ILY to your H, it doesn't seem like that's creating any negative results. Yes, he knows and he's told you he knows. Yet he doesn't appear to be getting upset that you are saying it. If you know your LL and it is "words of affirmation", then you are showing him your love with your words. If your LL is something else, then you may be OK with not telling him and simply show him with your LL, while still providing him with his LL.
On the rest? He says he still needs time and space, so keep giving him that. As far as the OW, she will provide him with enough pressure in his life and it doesn't seem like she has much leverage with him, so that will end (if it hasn't already) the natural death that most As can.
And regarding LRT, I would say that IF you can hold off for a bit, see where things go. We are obviously here to listen and support you, and would do so no matter what you choose. Yet, it seems to me as though you are actually on a good path to R. LRT may be too much pressure at this time, for your H. Nudges now and then, but LRT is probably overly drastic at this time and does not keep with your goal of R.
Oh, and as much as it svcks, be patient with wanting to do things with him. Perhaps there can be time set aside that the two of you make time for each other as a "date". Just thinking, perhaps your LL is "quality time" or it could be a secondary.
Keep posting and keep doing what you are doing. You can always change things up later, as you move forward.
