Just saying hello.

[prometheus]

Hi pro,Even if it's just thoughts from the day. It can be very helpful to let stuff out.

I think that i will be doing a bit of that around about now.

What do you think has kept the two of you together for 18 24 years?

I've been wracking my brains over this. Isn't it funny how i struggle for things to nominate as reasons? We kept having kids...that'll do it to an extent. We like/d each other. No, i am struggling to say why. ...and we have been living together for 24 years but only married for 18...not that that is especially important.

As far as her fears that things will revert, those are certainly valid. I'd guess that you would not want things to just keep being the same, either.

Definitely not. Persistence, vigilance, and having a plan should help here i hope.

That said, you may start to hear a lot of the familiar "script" that most will hear. Like "we got married too young" or "I never loved you" or "I feel I missed out on life"... oh, right... you've already heard that last one. It is interesting how common the language that so many of us hear.

Yes, i have heard a shipload of these 'gems', including lots of examples of ways in which i am to blame for our broken marriage. I guess at least some of these are going to be valid complaints, and so be candidates for doing a 180 on? (even if they are couched in absolutes such as "you always" or "you never" etc)

What do you think some of your W's valid complaints about you, might be?

I'm miserable, not easy to be around sometimes, moody, sulky, a wet blanket.
I am not good at supporting her emotionally.

That's bad enough already. There are probably lots more but valid complaints but i can't think at the moment. I will have to think some more on that.
Some of her complaints i have already acted upon and have been largely successful in eliminating the causes, or not engaging in the complained about behaviour.