Where are you and Barb in Ontario? I drove up 401 from Toronto last summer to drive D19 to college in upstate NY (she goes to and engineering school across the Ogdensburg bridge). It was a beautiful drive. She also had a horrid winter and is so glad to be back in Colorado for awhile. But she loves living on that side of the country too.
Since you've been talking about dating and getting back into the saddle here too... and since Barb started this thought on Ellie's thread... I have to agree with the ladies by not going out with someone who is "your type". I'm trying to say yes to as many requests as I can (eliminating those crazies). The only reason I say that is because apparently, my type has changed since I was in my 20s. I just conveniently forgot I'm now 51 and have changed!
There was an article written by a gal some years back who had the year of saying yes. Unless she was physically unable to go somewhere, she said yes to every invitation for one solid year. She blogged about it, and had plans to write the book; oddly enough, that December, she said yes to someone just as she was closing that chapter who wound up being her forever guy.
The reason it caught my eye was because she went into it not expecting anything but a series of experiences and conversations she could use as a growth tool. Okay, and a means to make some additional income by telling her story too. Her experiences were hilarious and frustrating, but she walked away from it with a year of massive change. She discovered more about herself as well. Her comment that resonated with me was that she found out she really doesn't have a type, and doesn't believe we do either. We just have comfort zones.
For the less enlightened, those comfort zones might be recreating a future with people from our past (those don't usually have happy endings).
So maybe accept a date with someone who is your polar opposite just to see?
My first date was with someone who told me up front that he holds opposing political views - I think he threw it at me as a gauntlet. But I have tons of friends who share his views, and I refuse to look for our differences rather than our similarities. I've actually made THAT my mantra going forward. What do we have in common? What do I like about this person?
Maybe we're a little luckier than Clay, who gets the women who want to get married again by virtue of his age. Pretty much most people I meet that are my age - both men and women - aren't looking for that. Thank goodness it takes some of the pressure off?
I hope you get way more baseball this summer. I'm a complete sports freak, and am unapologetic about it. In fact, now that we got St. Patrick as hockey coach, I just might have to become a season ticket holder again. I only gave them up when I had to choose between hockey and D19's volleyball. She won. Now I might make myself a winner! I just couldn't date a guy long term who wouldn't go to baseball games with me. And you should be able to find that woman there too.
Here's to a weekend of good baseball!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Wii is in Toronto. So is Josh when he is not with me (he keeps 2 homes as his job is in the city. My son lives in Toronto. My daughter lives in Niagara Falls until tommorrow when she moves in with me. I live in Muskoka - a couple of hours north of Toronto - lake district. I had a cottage here and chose to stay a couple of years ago - buying a lake house.
I never had anyone email me a photo of their stuff. I met a couple of guys who wanted to go out immediately (I didn't bother), many that I wasn't interested in meeting and a few that were worth going for coffee with but not much more. Luckily, I found Mr Right after just a couple of months. And I'll never look back.
I'm in Toronto, home of the crackhead Mayor! Right now, I'm not that open to seeing anybody. Although I do have my eye on a little non-Asian pharmacist on POF lol. But dating takes emotional energy and I just don't have it right now. I'm also real big on being fair to the person I go out with. If I'm not into it I don't want to waste their time either. I know, I'm ultra stick in the mud lol. As far as being open about my faith, that is new for me. I never thought it would really matter but now think it does. So, I'm gonna stick with it for now. Btw Betsey, I'm a big fan of the Intercounty Baseball League here in Southern Ontario. Check it out. http://www.pointstreaksites.com/view/theibl#.UZ_ukLWTh6o
Barb -- I hope Wii doesn't continue your friendship with photos of his junk... in whatever drawer he stuck them in! LOL, that is the funniest thing I've read ever!
Wii, yeah, I heard about your mayor. Oh well, we all have our issues don't we? Sigh. Don't you hate making the news that way? My own took the news last summer with the theater shooting. That a*hole is in jail within a stone's throw of my house. Ugh.
BTW, D19 and I both had a wonderful time in Toronto. We both agreed that we were going to have to come back and spend more time in your lovely city doing things other than the HHOF (which was on my bucket list). I figure I have 3 more years that I can make it really easy to accomplish that, so it's going to be part of my plan. She's flying back to school in August, so it won't be this summer. I n fact, if you can get a current programme with my beloved Joe Sakic in it for me, I just might be indebted to you. Promise it includes no text messages or photos!
Thanks for the link - the IBL sounds like a lot of fun, and is undoubtedly cheaper than MLB. Sounds like a great way to enjoy yourself!
BTW, there is nothing wrong with being fair and not putting yourself on the dating scene. I did that for 8 years and am not apologizing for it. Neither of my girls was ready for me to be in a R with anyone, and I had no intention of looking backward with regrets. I knew that I had only one chance to do things right. I'm really glad I made that decision for myself. D19 is now trying to be somewhat of a mom to me in getting me to go out more. LOL. There is role reversal for you?
Besides, I think I just might have to meet Mr. Right for Me Now at a baseball or hockey game. I would *never* tell a guy, "Are you watching the game again? Can we go to the mall instead?" NEVER, EVER, NOTGONNAHAPPEN. I am addicted to my teams, and there is nothing that makes me happier than sitting down with a beer (or glass of wine... or tumbler of single malt scotch) and watching a game on my gorgeous HDTV. Or toggling between them. Or watching them every day, day in and day out. Maybe Gineen and I are really boys at heart? Again, I'm not going to make any excuses or apologies. I worked hard to be a freak.
Okay, gotta get busy with housecleaning now. I want to be finished so I can have a Corona (with lime, of course) and relax before my team plays the SF Giants tonight. A date with me is the absolute best! Unlike you, I'm not breaking up with me. I think I'm fun, and I don't yell at me when I cuss at the players.
Betsey
p.s. 55 is the perfect age for me. I'm not dissing 55. 65? Maybe - depending. 75 and 85? Absolutely!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey, I'm OK with taking my time. This was a very exhausting relationship both physically and emotionally. I need to get my mojo back, get my stuff out of the drawer and make better choices next time!
Tonight I went to church and the Pastor talked about his divorce. He talked about how he'd always had this need to perform, to make everyone happy... in his marriage, as a Dad and in his job. He'd felt that if he didn't perform he wouldn't be loved. He didn't deserve love unless he met a utilitarian need for others. He talked about starting to feel used in his marriage. He then talked about how, with the grace of God, he came to terms with it. Wow, I had tears streaming down my face. He was me! Sometimes I think that if I don't do for others then what is left for them to love. That s@cks! After church, I drove over to a church friends house, sat and cried and talked. A difficult evening but great to know people are there...whether I perform or not.
I just couldn't date a guy long term who wouldn't go to baseball games with me. And you should be able to find that woman there too.
Betsey
I n fact, if you can get a current programme with my beloved Joe Sakic in it for me, I just might be indebted to you. Promise it includes no text messages or photos!