After reading your response on Ellie's thread, I thought I'd stop by for a quick visit.
You mention finding yourself cynical. You are still rather new in this process - less than a year, and there are so many emotional rollercoasters in that time period. Don't be too hard on yourself, okay? It sounds like your time in the state system might also come into play here. While it's good that you can see that and make it something to mull or act on if it gets in the way, give yourself time to heal. Time does take care of some of this stuff. I know you doubt me, but it's been 10 years and most of this seems pretty blurry to me now.
For the record, I was raised on the other side of the law (my dad is a retired cop), but I also don't trust people easily either. While I don't force people to earn my trust, I sometimes go into relationships or situations expecting people to do things that are not trustworthy. The only thing I can do about that is to offer forgiveness if it's bothersome to others.
Good luck, and have a great weekend!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey
