The Seven Principles sound great for when both partners are in it. Unfortunately, all this focus on the M can highlight to someone who's "Done" that it really is a problem, and much too difficult of a one to overcome. Hence RH’s H’s tears.
Some only go through the MC motions just so they can say they tried. Since actually working on a marriage is work, it’s not hard to see that when one partners heart is not truly in it, there is unlikely to be positive results.
Then too, when you throw a MLC into the works, you have a situation where one partner is dealing with major issues that have nothing at all to do with the M. (which actually may not have been that bad) These issues must be addressed first.
At least for my W and I, MC, working on the M, books, etc. were/are not the answer... yet. Which is where the DB principals come in. (NO relationship talks, work on yourself, let them walk their journey, etc.)
I’m not posting this to discourage you CB, just tossing out my thoughts for what they’re worth. (at least 2 cents!)
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
