Your situation is so fresh. Things seem to be happening at break neck speed. You have no idea, but you are just touching the tip of the ice berg. Slow yourself down and settle in. This is going to be a much longer process than you can imagine.
You are in a great position to turn this around. Don't do what so many of us have done and make things worse. You need to remember, only YOU are trying to save this marriage at this point. Your husband is not onboard, so don't expect him to play by the same rules or be positive in any regard. He is going to recite SCRIPT that is used by almost every single WAS. He will say he doesn't miss you. He will say the "ilybnilwy". He will say he is happy that he left. He will speak only in negatives. He will seemingly want to get away from you as fast as humanly possible. And like Another Stander pointed out, he is going to push your buttons. Consider every interaction you have with Husband to be a test. You can pass those tests or fail them. "You can choose to be right, or you can choose to be happy". that is a great saying. Live it! If you get angry, if you pursue, if you come off seeming needy or pitiful or if you engage him in conflict, that will come off looking negative to your husband.
Keep in mind, your husband is REELING with internal confusion. This isn't any easier for him than it is for you. However, he has to play it like he has made the greatest decision of his life. That is the way of the WAS. They will act like a completely different person. That is the only real way for them to convince themselves that they are making the right decision. It is your job not to play into that. Your husband is processing a lot of stuff right now. Let him. Don't pressure him to make a decision. Don't battle with him by any means. What you need to do is focus on yourself. Stay VERY level headed and don't respond to him with emotion.
This is the hardest thing to do, some call it detachment, but this is essential. Get out. Enjoy friends. Take care of yourself. "Act as if" you are happy and content. When you have interactions with your husband, just be pleasnt. Don't over do it, but just be upbeat and positive. Do not engage him any any negativity. Let him see you at your best. Buy some new clothes. Get your hair done. Look your best when you encounter him. Give him time to travel his journey with space and understanding. He will eventually start to settle down. At that time, you want him to reflect on what a great catch you were in the first place. This break you are having is VERY fresh. Both of you are going to be extremely raw emotionally. With a little time, understanding and showing your husband a smooth way back home to you, it is very possible that you can turn this around. Stay focused. Come on here and ask questions about ERVERYTHING. This is your ultimate source of support, right here. Use it.
Lastly, I would advise against discussing your marriage to anynone, even family or close friends. Take it from my experince, friends and family will wish to support you and therefore side AGASINT your husband. You don't want that. It never works out well and just places more conflict and distance between you. This is not the time to build alliances! Share here, but try to keep it under wraps aside from that. It will honestly be better for your marriage in the long run. If you need answers or need to vent, everyone here is on the same page as you. Let us help you, or be a shoulder for you to lean on. :-)
I spilled a lot. I hope you can take some of it in and put it to use. Keep strong and stay calm. Don't rush to make an ends.
