Still Struggling and need help #3

[reachingHigher]

Our MC asks my H difficult and pointed questions too.

Like, "you say you don't have time or energy to plan a family vacation or one with your W (one of your stated goals) then how is it that you have time and energy to plan a road trip with drinking buddies?"

I'm so worried about this and other pressures pushing him back into the tunnel, but I know there is a time and place to stand up and say "enough". Each of us has to decide where that is.

I do remember a great post by KD on T^2's thread about cake-eating. We say that when we feel used -- we aren't getting as much out of the R as we are giving. But it's an investment in our future. Are they cake-eating or are we providing a "safe" place for a loved one to regain a sense of who they are?

I'm sitting in the orthodontist office waiting for S13 and reading Gottman's book then had to put it down. We hardly have a "M" to speak of with mutual caring and sharing. Yet we've recovered from near-D and have a tentative hope for the future. It's not an easy road and sometimes looking back I wonder if I should've even held on.

But those on the "other side" have assure us it's all worth it.

I like what FY said. Be the irresistible spouse she fell in love with!