New to this ...

[steveh27]

After rereading some of my previous posts I see a lot of anger in those. I seemed all over the place with thoughts and contradicting behavior. Yesterday and today were better, more sad but peaceful.

I found a good size lump in my sternum last week and yesterday it seemed bigger. I awkwardly asked the W about it since we were both in good moods - and she felt it. She seemed concerned and it scared me because she is usually spot on about health related things. I quietly left the room and went to the basement. Nothing like all these emotions at once flying around in you to make you have a good cry. I didnt want anyone to see and I wanted no sympathy at that point or to overreact as I have no idea what it is.

I came back up and W was on her phone investigating the possibilities of what it could be. She asked what I was doing - I gave her a bs answer about checking the humidifier since I noticed moisture on the windows. I went to do some packing for the weekend and went about my business. An hour later she comes back to me with a list of things it could be. We still do "care" for one another, I know that. It also hurts seeing the old W show through in certain situations, although I know where we are at.

We have the same doctor and we both have annual checkups this coming Tues, so I'll get it checked out then. Anyway trying to get a couple things done at work before getting on the road for the "weekend" of awkwardness.