Going In Circles

[Fartiltre]

Hi SIS
(Remember: I am not a VET!)

Keep posting! Be specific about the matters!
(It is the number of posts that will get you off moderation!)

Get the stuff off your chest - this will help you sort out things and it will help you in dealing with the situation! It have occurred to me that VETS and others primarily post in times of extraordinary problems or cases. There a lot of people in here and VETS do not have all the time in the world! I know you think that your problems are extraordinary – so is mine and everybody else’s
We are one big, not so happy bunch of people wit our own extraordinary problem!
People are following your tread!! If you doubt this then just look at the number of views!



Define your own path and your own goals! What do you wan't out of all of this! I know that to save your M will be a top priority! How will this be possible? Now that you are through DR then look at the posts from AS and PM in your thread. Combine the book and the posts and make your plan! It is in fact quite simple to plan but hard to do! List the things you want to do and then DO them!
Post your plan, your 180s, your goals, your actions and so on.


And then one, two or three things more:

I wish i would have read DR sooner, but am almost done with it my second time now. So much useful information, but i fear it is too late for me.

That´s up to you, only you and nobody else! You decide when it is over! You decide to continue to work on you, to DB and therefore also on possible R – DO the work!

Its hard once you finally understand why your spouse wants to leave you. You then realize all the things you have done wrong to cause the D but you just feel so helpless because things have deteriorated to the point of no return.

If you understand her – that’s good! A major but needed step! Good! Just don't believe your understanding too much! This is tricky matters!
Continue to educate yourself on the brain of the WAS! There's a lot off excellent material in here!

You are not helpless but the only one to help you – is you! You can have support from here and elsewhere – but it is up to you and nobody else to actually DO it! Look at the R stories around this forum and on www – point of no return just doesn’t exist! Perhaps to you but not in general! It will be rough and hard, but someone else have done it and from a much worse situation than yours! (or mine!)
As you told me! There is hope and you have to cling very hard to this! DO it!

I now realize the different times my wife has tried to talk to me but i would always turn it around and find some fault that i thought she had and point it out.

Me too – and we are not alone! It is good that you are realizing this. Think back on these convos and find the things she complained about. Add them to your list and make them into areas of possible 180s for you! DO the 180s!


As Yoda said: Do or do not – there is no try! So DO!

We will be pulling for you! But you have to DO the work!