I got a txt while working from S that grandmother (dads mom) is now under hospice care and having several mini strokes this week and expecting a big one to take her at any time.
I had gotten preoccupied w/grandfather (moms dad) and uncle and their accident and she kind of slipped my mind.
I am so goddam tired of being sad.
I read (even on one of my threads) and believed for much of my life it's not what happens to you it's what you think about what happens to you that give joy or sadness. In one sense I know it can be true but in another it feels fake especially when extreme events happen...death, family breakup, disaster, etc.
I miss my W so much. Tried to reach her about gmother but couldn't.
I heard of a book I'm going to try...change your heart change your life... I am afraid it will be stuff I know but can't make myself do right now... Such a pessimist...I really hate being around people that have the attitude I have right now.
I had gotten to a better place earlier...Charles swindoll has some good stuff on YouTube about trusting God, depression, etc. but news about gmother chopped me back down.
I'm not really DBing here but I don't really have anyone else to talk to. When other gmother died several years ago I handled it well...I'm just so beat up already.
Thanks for listening.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
