I can really relate. My H and I used to share one account on FB and he pressured and made fun of me till I got my own account in Nov. of 2011. That day he locked me out of his account. Soon afterwards he removed all pics of us. When I asked him, "why?" he said, "it's all about me now".
So...another way of saying what KD said above...sooooo MLC. It (almost) makes me smile now.
I've never made any headway with the FB thing. My H is moving back home but FB is still all about him and he won't allow any pics of me or us on it. It only alienated him to have me pressure him about it, although he now posts some events we attend together. He was reluctant to do that.
Just letting you know there may be no value in bringing it up in MC. Or let her lead with it. If she is set on that being an "identity" place for her, it really doesn't matter how you see it. She may need that "space" right now and it may be better to drop it and when she is ready she will let you in.
Btw, good job on detaching from tat-boy. That's a really hard thing to do. And some good positive actions from your W. Yay!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Thanks RH. My sitch is not as bad in that W's profile pics are family pics. Interestingly, she actually changed to having a background and a profile family pic the week after the BD. Like it was her way of telling herself that she was still in it? IDK. And, she posts things that are both about the family and not, but much more not, for sure. So, I think the whole reason that she doesn't want me on hers is so she can post on tat-boy's updates, but that is really dumb because I know about tat-boy. But, maybe she thinks it is still a secret (just shared with 300 close friends, LOL). My thinking on bringing it up in MC is that it was an open, unresolved discussion. He always first asks what went well during the week, then asks what didn't.
And yes, lots of positives, you are right.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
BTW, I have to say, all of you folks who comment, provide encouragement, support, and suggestions, ARE AWESOME! I can't tell you how valuable this has been and how many times you have talked me off the metaphorical ledge. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!!!
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
Today I had to give a speech/presentation to a room of 200 executives, including my boss and 6 other members of our leadership. I don't mind public speaking, but having my boss in the crowd upped the ante quite a bit. It went AWESOME! I have you all to think because I can tell you definitely, travelling for 4 days this week had me pretty shaken up (when I last travelled for business in March, W connected with tat-boy on FB and she had her breakdown triggering MLC). You all helped me so much over the past couple months, including last night, and I was able to keep me focus where it needed to be, and breathe...
Thank you all!
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
Thanks RH. My sitch is not as bad in that W's profile pics are family pics. Interestingly, she actually changed to having a background and a profile family pic the week after the BD. Like it was her way of telling herself that she was still in it? IDK.
My STBXW did the same exact thing?!? Pictures of the kids and my family at xmas last year. But she's not even in the pics, she refused to go? Weird. (Twilight Zone music)
Me42 W41 D10,D15 T25 M23 LYBNILWY 09/12 OEA 08/12(?)-ended? 01/13 Sep 01/13 I file 04/13 1rst D hearing 06/13 Currently in mediation
TVS, I am actually doing pretty well on tat-boy. Seeing him as the douchebag (I was going to say db, but here that has other meaning) he is has helped. He does not love my wife like I do, when she was sick he was not on his knees like I was, he is not the father I am, he is not the man I am!
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
1. Focus on the positives. 2. If FB comes up, listen and stay calm. It is an opportunity to hear and understand. 3. STFU when she should be talking, even if she is not. Don't bail her out.
Wish me luck.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
