I can't keep my head from spinning. I really don't think I'm in a very good spot right now. I have the privilege of having two Cs if I want when I go to IC. I'm meeting with both of them today. I spoke to one of them on the phone Tuesday regarding my obsession with wanting to tell OW about my pregnancy. She suggested I write a letter to both H & OW and bring them in to discuss as a form of therapy. I wrote them yesterday & am scheduled to see both Cs in a few hours.
I hope this brings some relief. I have been going back & forth daily with the feeling that if H leaves then I would give up my stand & let him go all the way to I would continue my stand & fight for our marriage. I just don't know.
Thinking of posting my letter to OW here as well. Maybe right before I go to IC & see what the feedback is from all here compared to what I get in IC?
The letter I wrote to OW is not about me confronting her. It is simply letting her know that I'm concerned for H. I actually wrote it under the assumption that she knows about me being pregnant.
Also, on another note…H left his computer on the counter yesterday with the instant message conversation from the day with OW open. I read it. He doesn't know & he didn't leave it up on purpose. He rushed into the room when he realized what he had done & slammed the laptop shut quickly & was nervously looking around. This was in our kitchen & I was in the living room with the girls when he came in to get the computer.
In the convo she said she wanted his baby & her biological clock was ticking. He replied with 'get in line'. She said what does that mean, what are you saying? I thought you slept in separate beds, I thought you were only with me? And added several red faced emoji's. He replied back with 'I'm kidding'. She then asked him if he was in or out with baby making? He said that they needed to get in the same city, let alone state first, and then he'd probably be 'in'.
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12
