Well, it appears as though W wants to tell the boys this weekend about the D. She asked how we wanted to tell them. I told her it was going to have to be her responsibility to tell them since this is what she wants. I will be there to support them. Seems like all of a sudden this is all going so fast.
I don't think it's a good idea to start your divorce off this way. It may be W's doing, but parents need to provide a united front to their children. I'm not saying you need to say that you agree with the D or with what your W says, but it needs to come across to the children as a mutual decision/understanding. Otherwise, they might immediately begin resenting her along with all the other emotions they will be experiencing. The kids don't need that extra baggage. How the D happened isn't any of their business, especially at these ages.
Originally Posted By: shouldistillhope
I am also a bit confused as to whether or not i should not contact her at all at this point. Should I go dark or should i try and initiate small conversations via text at this point. We still need to have contact regarding our kids.
Should i just leave it at that?
She is now telling her friends about us getting D. We lived in a small town so this will spread like wildfire. It gets hard when friends call you up to ask you what happened.
How does everyone else handle this?
Your communication right now is a dance. Let her lead.
Come across as quiet and confident.
Originally Posted By: shouldistillhope
I am not sure if she is just saying these things so i will be more apt to truly let her go, but it is killing me right now.
Just make sure you keep all that on the inside. In time those feelings will lesson.
You are an emotional rock! Nothing she says or does affects you. Got it?
Originally Posted By: shouldistillhope
Had to go to our house last night because S4 graduated from preschool. Awesome night with my boys but also noticed W has stopped wearing her wedding ring.
Doesn't matter. Nothing she says or does affects you because you are an emotional rock.
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Now, Fartiltre has some very good things for you to work on. If you aren't getting much action in your own thread, read others. You'll find plenty with situations very much like your own.
All the best.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
