W forgot to call me to tell me that she was taking d3 out for Thai.
I've been dealing with a year of that from W and it's still going on. Unfortunately the WAS doesn't feel obligated to share even basic info with us.
Quote:
as she blew out of the driveway I said goodbye to my best friend of the last 18 years
OK, you need to hear this even though it's going to hurt. Your BFF is long gone. She's not your BFF, she's not even your F right now. The best you can hope for is friendly neighbor status, and even that may not happen for months yet. The sooner you can let her go the quicker you'll heal. You've got to replace her with other friends now. Preferably guy friends. We tend to put all our emotional eggs into the W basket, so when they leave we find ourselves utterly alone. Setting up a network of new friends and reestablishing links to old friends is your path to healing. That's what everyone here told me nearly a year ago, and I begrudgingly followed the advice and I stand here a much better person today for it. Better even than before BD. I am on the verge of divorce and yet I am happy with my life and excitedly looking forward to an incredible future even though my W probably won't be part of it. You will get there too. But you've got to work on detaching and GALing!
The sooner you can let her go the quicker you'll heal. You've got to replace her with other friends now..... But you've got to work on detaching and GALing!
^^^^Agree, Agree, Agree. ^^^^
The W moving out (if she does... remember actions not words...) is another step in the journey. It doesn't mean D... but it does mean a different dynamic. My W began our physical S last Feb. I followed DB and took care of myself. GAL'ing even when I don't want to. It helps. It really does. Sometimes your still going to be a tornado of emotion and that's ok too. Work through the feelings. Talk to all of us.
Personally I was surprised by how much better and stronger I started to feel without my W's drama around. I don't think separation is always a bad thing for a LBS. If we give them space to work through their sh*t... the bonus is we get space to heal ourselves and work on us!
((((hugs))))) PS. I know none of this makes it feel any better right now.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
((((PS)))) Hey there! Are you pulling an "RT" and dissapearing for a week? I hope you and D3 are having a blessed holiday weekend! Let us know how you are!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I hope you and D3 are having a blessed holiday weekend! Let us know how you are!