Thank you so much for your replies. And thank you for the reality check. AnotherStander, thank you for taking the time to read and dissect my post. I am very new to this and I appreciate you and anyone elses constructive criticism. That is something I dont get outside of this forum, brutal honesty. So thank you and keep it coming.
I wish I was off MOD so I could have got your responses before I did the backslide. Damn...
Monumental backslide.
Well, I will have to dust myself off and keep on DBing. It feels like every backslide has the potential to be the fatal blow in our R. I understand that the fatal blow may have already been delivered to our R long ago.
I do read the 37 rules almost everyday. I cant believe that I did not apply them in this situation. I guess I just got excited that she may consider going to MC. I do believe that if she does go, it may very well be so that she can say "I tried" to her family.
Her family is applying pressure to her also. She told me yesterday that her parents keep texting her to tell her to make the right decision with respect to her M. I related to her that I can see how that could upset her.
Another question for you.
We still live together with the kids but are essentially separated. I make the money (not much money mind you) and she pays the bills with it. I have my check directly deposited into my account and transfer what she needs to pay the bills to her account. There is usually not much left over. She asked me, for the first time in 5 years, to see my actual paycheck. I told her since we are essentially separated, that I was not comfortable showing her.
Was this a good or bad decision?
She has her boundaries and I do my best not to breach those boundaries. I have a few boundaries too.
What are appropriate boundaries for the LBS to have, with respect to a WAS? Please include financial boundaries.
She asks me about my MC and what we discuss. I tell her that we talk mostly about what my role in damaging the R and how I learn to stop doing negative things to R's.
Is it appropriate to talk to her about my MC? I tell her it's mostly to help me through this crisis.
