I came home tonight and guess what snoring little lump I found waiting for me in my bed.........
D3
She must have snuck out of her room after w put her to bed
I picked her up, gave her a kiss on the cheek and carried her off to bed
***I KNOW I AM WORTHY OF LOVE- D3 LOVES ME***
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
I came home tonight and guess what snoring little lump I found waiting for me in my bed.........
D3
She must have snuck out of her room after w put her to bed
I picked her up, gave her a kiss on the cheek and carried her off to bed
***I KNOW I AM WORTHY OF LOVE- D3 LOVES ME***
I sure miss that age!
What a wonderful feeling to know your loved by someone. Enjoy that, but don't rely on it. Wouldn't it feel crazy good to have that same unconditional love for ourselves...
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
As if the separation from wife wasn't enough a problem employee decided they should drop a "Harassment" complaint on me for HR to investigate. If you consistently stick your middle finger up at rules and policies you should never get disciplined I guess????
I refuse to be "neutered". Its just a different distraction/sideshow I didnt want to deal with......Oh well
W was at the house Wed,thur, fri nites and through sat 4pm. I stayed away so that I "wouldnt distract her time with D3".
Sunday Morning D3 wakes up VERY sad. She had her first nightmare/ bad dream. D3 crawled into my bed with tears streaming and asked "Momma is coming back? Momma will come back so we can play toys........right Daddy?"
I told her that yes Momma will be back and Mommy and I both love you soooooooooooooooooo much. I then told her Mommy would be back on Wed and we practiced days of the week together and I got out a calendar and we will now countdown the days together - in pink.
I realized then That I needed to "go big". I told her that we were going on a special trip. I told her that she needed to get dressed and wear her baseball hat and baseball shirt - We were going to see a baseball game!!!
Her eyes lit up as she told me that her baseball shirt has numbers on it and her hat is pink. I told her "Well you better put them on and surprise Daddy!"
D3 is hyper excited at that point so I go and order tickets (we live within long driving distance of two separate minor league ballparks and they pretty much are opposite home schedules)I was lucky (or fate) There were TWO tickets available in the second row to this mostly filled game.
D3 had a BLAST
and she made it past "god bless America". (7th inning stretch)
I realize that im really taking D3's increased awareness of her mothers absence personally. Im blaming myself and feeling like I already have failed my daughter and condemned her to a life of anxiety, depression and the feeling of being unloved......
Logic tells me I do not own this- The pain is purely emotional.
Love you all and thanks for reading!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Sorry for the rough feelings. I have the same feelings too about my girls. My W has said that she doesn't think that my youngest daughter will be affected much. She is a BIG Daddy's girl. She will be beyond sad. My oldest wears her heart on her sleeve and she will be a mess. W downplays what we/they are going to go through. Hang in there PS.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
Oh man, this part is the worst. The kids. But one day I just told myself, if the worst thing that happens in my kids life is that their parents divorce, I'm ok with that. I refuse to allow myself to believe and thus act like they are missing something because of what is going on. They are loved and safe. I make sure I take that time, like you are, to show them this. The universe provides what we lack. She has YOU and you are an amazing father! My H coulld come by anytime to see his kids, and for the first month he came by alot. Then, he started canceling, it got bad. I was so upset! How could he do this?!?! They are his babies!! But, S4 (who was taking it the hardest) has wonderful men in his life in my brothers, brother in law and my friends husbands. They all took special time with him when he was craving that male attention.
Your daughter will thrive and have a wonderful life, because of you. If her mother wises up, awesome! If not, her loss. The effect on our kids is huge, but we don't have to take this on ourselves. We didn't choose this. And does it really blow that we are the ones dealing with the daily effects of our spouses junky life decisions? Yep. But, I choose to look at it like this. Thank God I'm more than enough love and awesomeness for my kids. Thank God you are more than enough love and awesomeness for your D. Then, the other 10% of the time when I want to bash in my H's brains...I go out to the punching bad and tape a pic of him to it. My H actually knows about it, and thinks it hilarious...and well deserved. I mean, we can't be all rainbows and sunshine all the time
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Hi my friend! Just catching up... I was on vacation! I am so super proud of you. You seem to pull it out no matter what gets thrown at you. I'm really sorry about W and the phonecall in your presence. You handled it beautifully. And that little girl of yours sounds super precious and is blessed to have you as her father!!
The last thing anyone could say is that you have failed your daughter. Box that thought up and beat the sh*t out of it! We all know it and so does your W. She's not going to give you that validation right now though. One day maybe. But your D3 will know it for the rest of her life.
I know you are doing a lot of amazing things for yourself, weightloss, connecting with your daughter on family time, and even bar nachos and a game or two on your own... what about connecting with friends? Do you have any time to do that for yourself?
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
My w and d3 came home tonight to a beautifully prepared dinner. Homemade ravioli, salad with fresh basil, mozzarella and a homemade dressing. Only one problem- they had both already eaten dinner. W forgot to call me to tell me that she was taking d3 out for Thai.
W threw a load of laundry in and put d3 to bed. She managed to tell me that she thinks she found an apartment
When laundry was finished she said goodbye and drove away
My wife is heading to ny for the long weekend with om - as she blew out of the driveway I said goodbye to my best friend of the last 18 years
I make sure I wake up in th morning, get out of bed, get out of the house....and put one foot in front of the other- regardless of the shnit thrown at me
We will all survive AND thrive - grizz, tallula, rt, and jp..........thank you for your kind words
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Sounds like a delicious dinner. More leftovers for you!
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
