When I went through mediation, we both met together with the mediator. The mediator was there to facilitate us working things out between us. he and I each had our own separate attorney on the outside that we would run things by, then we would meet back with the mediator and hash it out.
If you have a private attorney, ask them what you can expect. It's good to go in to mediation with a pretty good idea of your rights and what a court would award you. That way, you can always ask for more as a negotiating ploy, but will know where it's reasonable to settle.
Remember this is a BUSINESS deal at this point - and has nothing to do with your marriage or getting any closure on that. Just stick to the business.
And if there are points where you have a choice between taking payments over time or a solid asset - I'd take the asset, since it'd be pretty hard to pursue him for back payments in another country.
So, for instance, if you would qualify for alimony, you might be better off getting a lump sum or the house equity or more of the retirement accounts. Would be better than sitting around waiting for the check to arrive every month from an unreliable source.
