B, you didn't deserve this. I doubt your H has found the love of his life. He might be distracted, but until he takes the time (a long time) to sort himself out he will eventually realize that all of the same issues followed him.
Your H has a plan that he has to carry out. I've been right where you are. Even when my mom was hospitalized and was told that she was dying (she didn't, thank God) my H was emailing me and my attorney insisting that the D be finalized quickly. MLCers don't seem to care about anyone or anything except their own agenda. From what I've read, they believe that once the D is final and the dust has settled they will finally be happy. My H also believes the boys will be fine at that point and their relationship will resume. It's actually then that life settles down for them and they might start to realize that the grass isn't greener... I'm sure some of the vets can speak to this.
As time passes and you start accepting what's happened, this will get easier. Your new life will seem normal. It does take a while which I have to be reminded of.
Really, the best thing you can do is take very good care of yourself. Do whatever it takes to start feeling good about who you are. You will care less and less about being abandoned. Use this time to get your ducks in a row so you lessen your anxiety and fear. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve and know that it's normal.
For me, BD and the initiation of the D was the worst part. It's still sad, but is really more of a business deal now. Protect yourself financially and set whatever boundaries are necessary for self preservation. You will get though this.
