Help! Patience is tough

[jaytee35]

Grateful,

Honestly, I think it is a little bit of both. I have moved on in the sense that I do not have the urge to contact her but I think about her daily. So I think the motivation is both. To truely get on with my life and use social media the way I used to and also to show her. 50/50

[Papa4Life]

I think most people here would agree that FB is the devil

[LBH_LC]

I think most people here would agree that FB is the devil

Most definitely.

[jaytee35]

I tend to agree. Like I said I do not miss social media whatsoever. Was just curious if it wpuld help my cause. But I am leaning towards not going back to it but I wanted to get your responses. I know if I go back to it, I do not think I will have the discipline to not investigate hers while I am on mine. So you guys are right, It is probably best I stay away from it.

Truth be told, some of the most successful people I know do not indulge in it! Maybe I will take thier lead as well

[LBH_LC]

I think Facebook is only really good for communicating with less computer-savvy relatives who don't really go anywhere else on the Internet.

Twitter and other networks seem to have better benefits and be a lot less drama-prone.

I think social media can be dangerous for LBS because one would be tempted to talk "at" or for the benefit of their WAS. You know, passive aggressive stuff.

[jaytee35]

Leftcoast,

I understand completely. It is definitely passive aggressive behavior in which my wife is a pro at. It s probably in my best interest not to get back on the social media sites for a very long time. I am pretty sure that as soon as the D is final she will be back on posting passive aggressive posts in hopes I am looking. So you are right, it is best for me to steer away from them for a long, long, time!

[BrightFuture]

I’m currently in LRT and have almost no contact with H. I don’t have FB, neither does he. Some of our common friends have FB. At my last DB coaching session my DB coach suggested to open the FB account for me, so I could post my GAL activities, in hopes that the common friends would pass the information to H. I’m still skeptical. I can see from the comments on this board that when both partners have FB accounts, it could get ugly. You would need a lot of restraint to avoid checking your W’s activities.

[jaytee35]

BrightFuture,

I too am very skeptical about doing it. Currently right now my account and her account is deactivated.....well hers has been deactiviated the last I knew but I havent checked in a couple months since I deleted mine.

I think I may stay away from it becuase like I said she is typically a social media junky and will use it to be passive aggresive towards me. especially if she thinks I am making my posts in the same fashion. She reads into everything and will definitely think my posts are to get under her skin.

I can see why the DB coach would say to do it, But I do not think I have enough restraint not to check her activities. I am barely grtting through this LRT thing!!

[jaytee35]

So I found out that my wife does actually have her Facebook account activated. She has it activated in her maiden name (which is why I never noticed she reactivated) she has me blocked but knows We have mutual friends. I was out last night GAL and I saw a mutual friend of ours who I ended up getting in a conversation with about my wife. She informed me that my wife is always posting on Facebook with things that make it sound like she is happy and has moved on with her life. Is that typical of a WAW? She also informed me that she had went and got a puppy. When I moved I took our dog with me because technically it was my sons dog. So looks like she went out and got a replacement puppy to satisfy her needs.

What should I make of this behavior? Is it a big deal that she went out and got another dog? Or is it just a way to satisfy her need to act as if she is okay with her decision to divorce?

I should also mention that in Facebook, she makes a point to post constantly about the dog. She also named it Blake. After Blake Shelton. ironically, Blake Shelton "god gave me you" was our wedding song.

She also does things like change her profile picture to a picture of just her. But it is a picture that her and I were in, like our engagement pictures and she will crop out my face and just put hers......what should I make of behavior like that?

[hotwheelsaust]

jaytee, I cannot give you any great answers, but simply let you know my W has also just gone and got a new puppy. While she hasn't changed or deleted her original facebook page, she rarely goes on it now, but when she does it is all good and happy stories. While she hasn't gotten rid of any pictures of us together, she has (after 6 months) changed the profile from married to separated. Maybe it is just another aspect of WAW. My view on the puppy, for my W, is she needs something to love. She doesn't want to love me, so she got a puppy that shows unconditional love.
How to make of her behaviour? Probably similar to ourselves, she is trying to show outwardly that she is moving on. We at DB do this, but also work inwardly on ourselves, that is where the WAS come unstuck, they usually don't work on themselves invwardly.