Hi Pam. I'm guessing you are a computer nerd? Of course, I could be wrong, but dba in your nick, well...
I am sorry you find yourself here, you will find the members on this board very supportive. I would like to let you know that you can keep posting in this area, although if you post a thread in the Newcomers area, you may get more immediate response as it is much more active.
Next, if you haven't, please pick up the book "Divorce Remedy" as it is an important resource regarding DBing and you may want to get phone coaching from Michelle or one of her team of coaches.
Very quickly, it does appear that you have a more dominant role in your M. That is OK if your H is happy with his role. As you've noticed, it appears he is not. Curbing your need to simply DO, without consideration to your H, will be a great 180 for you to work on.
That does not mean doing nothing, it means that you should consider if your H may want input into a particular duty or project before you get yourself all over it. He may simply need more time to process things before he acts on them. Perhaps he's an Analyst in the personality quadrant.
I do feel you are in a really good place right now, that your H indicates that he does not want to D. He gave you a warning shot before, and has done so again. This is your wake up call.
Do you know if there is anything else that he might have complaints about regarding you or the M? Would any of those be valid?
Of course, I could be wrong, but dba in your nick, well...