The downside is that my mother pretty much is not speaking to me. She still feels hurt by XW and I think she would be happier if I had nothing to do with her anymore. She said that she feels that she is owed an apology from XW at some point....and she continually says that SHE (XW) did all of this and caused a tear in the family.
Remember that listening and validating isn't just for your XW. Try that with your mom too. If she doesn't want to talk for now then give her time and space just like you did with your XW. She needs to sort through her thoughts. She'll hopefully come to realize that your happiness is what is most important to her and if reconciling is what makes you happy then I'm sure she'll accept it.
My mom wouldn't even watch our S the other night when we had a mutual friend in town because she said she doesn't want to do anything that would help XW. My hope is that time will eventually cure all of this....at the moment, it blows - but I am not putting my mother in front of my XW and son. If she opts to hang on to her ill feelings, that is on her.
I am grateful for everyone on this board that has been along with me (WTH has 25 been????). There will be more to come later.
