What's Going On?!? - Cautiously Contemplating

[Tallula]

HI RT!

Just getting versed in your sitch, but I'll lend a few things to the most recent post.

I have read Pia's facing co-dependence and it was great!!

Dealing with a spouse in an A is so hard. My H has said he wants me back (my sitch is involved and pretty nutty, soooo)but, one of the things that I know will be hard for me to overcome IF I choose to try to R, is the feeling that I'm not special and loved by my H. I am special and worthy of love, I know that today. But, will I ever be able to believe that HE thinks it.

Our self esteems have taken a really good hit. I've built mine up again. Probably more than it's ever been. I'm pretty fabulous, lol. Anyway, I know that there are many wonderful men in the world who will love me and treat me like I deserve. My H may never be that man. Do I know it for sure? Nope. So, baby steps. I'm watching his behavior, while I'm over here living my life.

The biggest thing that DB has taught me is to time. When we have info, don't react. I snooped...alot. My H doesn't know all of it, and I don't plan to tell him. He told me in a general way the things I snooped about, so there is no reason to tell him. I don't trust him. I see about a 5% chance of us working, today in this moment. Have I told him that? Nope. He knows I'm pretty done, but what would telling him that do? I feel no rush to answer him or "figure this out". Time will tell.

You need to be your own best friend right now. If you want to be intimate with your W, take it for what it is. A time to be close, and go about your day. If you can't help but get too attatched, maybe you shouldn't do it. But, the best thing is to really look within when you are having bouts of needy, clingy-ish thoughts. I started asking myself "How can I reassure myself right now?" Sat on my hands to text and I did something for myself.

This stuff is so hard, HUGS!