She does not understand why i am so stubborn, why i won't separate, why it is such a big deal to me.
This is her problem, not yours. If you're standing your ground that is not you being stubborn or refusing to separate, you're just refusing to let her browbeat you into leaving. You should support her decision, but that doesn't mean you agree with it. IE, tell her something like "I would like for you to stay here and work on the M, but more than that I want for you to be happy and if leaving is what will make you happy then I support your decision to leave."
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She also said that it will be better for the children's mental health if i go because it is better that they live with one happy parent rather than two unhappy ones.
Typical WAS twisted logic. And that's a particularly low blow to use the children to try to support her desire to break up the marriage. She really, really doesn't get it at all if she thinks a separation is good for the kids. Absurd.
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I found this all pretty hard to take and i don't know what to do.
Do nothing. Stay put. Stand your ground. If she wants to leave then that is totally on her, she needs to make that decision, find a place, set it up, deal with all the inconveniences, etc. etc.
