Thanks so much for your reply, Bea. I agree with everything you wrote. My H doesn't see anything wrong with what he's done. In fact, he said that 50% of marriages end in D so why is he the bad guy? He actually said that to the boys. He doesn't feel they are justified to feel hurt and angry. His statistic is skewed. Half of long term marriages don't end. More importantly, there are a lot of people, children, that are badly hurt by D. He threw around that statistic for months as if the children involved just went on, unscathed by what had happened.
The person my H has become is someone he would have been appauled by years ago when our family meant everything to him. "Selfish, lazy and entitled" definitely describes him now. I wonder who he spews to. Who are the enablers in his life? What are they getting from him? They can't possibly care about him, our family or our children.
Until responsibility is taken and the hurtful behavior is changed I will remain NC. I have far less drama. The D process is upsetting, but it won't last forever.
I'll never understand why MLCers have to be so hurtful and destructive. If they think we're so wonderful than why don't they just act fairly and civilly? Why are the compliments followed up by vengeful behavior? I just want to be left alone. The D isn't what I wanted, but I haven't hindered he process. I just want what's fair and what I need to provide for the boys and rebuild my life.
